Difficult times

I never updated what happened after doubles. My partner Nicole and I ended up losing in the semi's. We definitely didn't play our best but it was a close match. We lost 3-6, 6-4, 10-6. The team picked their game up a bit in the second set. The 10 point tiebreakers are always hard. Things can go so many different ways. A few mistakes and you can find yourself very down. If we played out a set and made a few mistakes that could mean we were only down a game or two. But in this case we have to play the tiebreaker to decide the match and we came up short. It still was a good tournament for me. I made a run through the qualifying and made it through one round of the main draw. I was proud of the way I was playing. Even after the singles loss I wasn't to upset. Normally no one should come near me for a little while after my matches. I'm not the nicest person after I lose ;)   This time I knew the mistakes I made and I knew in the end I could win. Those propel me further into believing I can make it and do better and better as the year goes on.

Onto Surprise, Arizona....

After such a great week with a wonderful housing family it might have been inevitable to have a bad housing experiences. Sure enough I had one this tournament. My friend and old teammate Nina and I drove out with another player Elizabeth out to Surprise. Only about 4 hours from where we were in Rancho Mirage. Nina and I made arrangements to stay with a couple near the tournament. Long story short the couple ended up being a man in his 70's and his wife about 20 years younger from Brazil who spoke some english with a strong accent. To make it worse, there were two other people staying with us. So in all there were 4 people from the tournament staying in just one house. Normal circumstances there is only one or two players in a house.

Nina and I were almost on top of each other in the tiny room with one bed they had us sharing. There was no space to put our luggage or walk around and to even breath. We decided to stay there for one night and stick it out. They weren't going to cook meals for us so we went out to eat dinner and then onto Wal-Mart and bought some groceries for the week.

We woke up the next morning both hating life because we didn't sleep well at all. Nina had a match that morning and had to play off of about 4 hours of sleep. I fortunately didn't have to play until Wednesday because I got a wild card into the main draw. I knew I wasn't going to sleep well at this house and after our experience that night we both decided to move to my mom's friends house who lives in Phoenix. It would be about a 30 minute drive to and from the courts, but we both didn't care at this point. We need rest and some sanity.

Nina ended up losing so it even made more sense to move to the house in Phoenix because it was closer to the airport to take Nina the next day and I at least new who I was staying with for the week. I've stayed with her (Norma) before and knew what her house was like and what to expect. You may think I would have had more space now that Nina was gone in the original house which could be true but the other two people staying were a couple and kept to themselves. I would have felt very isolated and lonely. I decided to go with what I knew would make me feel ready for the tournament.

I practiced the next few days before my doubles and singles match. I wasn't feeling my best. Overall, I was feeling tired mentally and physically. I thought the couple days off from the qualifying rounds would help but it felt like it was just prolonging the feelings of tiredness.

I was pretty upset after the doubles match. I rarely blame my partner for a loss, but this time there is no other reason. She was on a different planet that day. She made so many mistakes and mentally was down on herself. I tried and tried to get her to move on and keep playing but in the end we came up short. We should have beat the team. We had a good draw. If we would have won, the next round was a team we had beaten the week before. And I'm not saying she played bad because we lost. She kept telling me and apologizing the whole match and even the next day! She's a great player and one I want to play with again. I just hope she can keep herself from going so up and down.

Singles was tough. I thought I played pretty poorly but the scores show a very tight match. I lost the first set in a tiebreaker, won the second, and then lost the third with just one break of serve to lose 6-3. My coach helped put it into perspective for me. This year I haven't lost to anyone I shouldn't lose to. Not all those matches have been easy or pretty, but I've overcome and came out victorious. And all the players who have been ranked ahead of me, I've either been up in both sets or have gone to three sets with them. I'm competing with top players and winning sets off them. I didn't do this last year. I was up and down winning and losing to people I shouldn't lose to.

When he said this, I gained some perspective and recognized I have improved. There are a few things I need to tweak to beat players ahead of me but it's nice to see I'm almost there. I'm not far off. I need to keep playing with my strengths, keep believing, and keep looking at the positives.

The next few weeks I'm at home resting, recovering, rehabbing, and preparing for my next few tournaments. I haven't decided where I am going yet. The options are California for a big opportunity tournament but LOTS of matches to achieve the opportunity, go to Mexico, or go to Mexico and Bahamas.

There is a lot to think about and I have a week to think about it until the deadline comes. I would appreciate prayers.

Catch ya later,
Macall