Who do I believe?

Do I believe God is big enough?

I've been worrying about two major things lately.

            Will I be financially taken care of this year?
            Will I be physically healthy to compete?

Both things have come crashing down on me while the first tournament comes closer and closer. I don't have much money to travel with. I didn't have a lot of money to travel with last year. I started saving money in college from my scholarships checks and was able to get a nice chunk of change to start my career. After 5 years of school, I used all the money I saved to start my professional tennis career and go out and conquer to tour. There has been times when I have called upon my wonderful parents and my uncle who has been so generous to help out when I most needed it. Along with my family, God has clearly provided for me when I least expected it.

I was gearing up for the last leg of my season. I think it was around September or October. I was at home training for a week or two preparing for the next tournaments. I planned on playing up until the middle of November. I remember having enough money to get to one tournament, maybe two. I've been in this situation before. I remember knowing how many more tournaments I could play, not knowing how I'll afford everything that it takes to get to each tournament, not knowing what will happen.

I was driving back home from a workout when I received a phone call from my mom. She told me she was just at a fundraiser for hospice care. She happened to talk with someone she was acquainted with before. She shared a bit about what I was doing and where I was at in my career. He was so generous that he said he wanted to help out financially. I contacted him the next day and he sent me a check in the mail. It was enough to let me travel to the rest of the tournaments!

I couldn't believe it. It was such a great relief and a nice surprise.

Now I'm here again. I start my year in two weeks with the first tournament in California. I saved some money by teaching younger girls in the area, but not enough to get me by for the first few months. Will I have faith? Will I believe God is big enough to care for me?

I've also been caring for a shoulder injury that has kept me off the courts here and there over this break. I fear I won't be able to even start at the end of this month. I know the important thing is to do what I can. I'm taking care of all the small things and letting the unknowns be left alone. I'm going to a doctor to work on my shoulder three times a week. I'm icing and stretching. I'm working out and doing what I can in the gym and off the court. It's easy to worry and to wonder what will happen in the next few weeks, few days, tomorrow. I've been working hard on not letting those thoughts take over my mind and my outlook on the future. I can't assume what will happen.

Once I do start to get back out on the court I hope I can start serving like this.
(The video may be hard to view. If you can't see where the ball is just imagine an out wide serve that's untouchable!)

Macall's Fact of the Day:

When learning something new take it slow and don't over do it. Your muscles may not be used to moving in that particular motion. Be patient with yourself and know that it takes time to learn something to make it automatic in your game. If you have to continue to think about it, it's not quite there yet. 

I do believe God is big enough. I believe I will be taken care of. I'll keep you updated on how the shoulder is feeling and what's happening. To end on a positive note, I was able to get housing for the first three tournaments of the year! 

Now I'm off to enjoy this wonderful So Cal weather! 

Mental War

One of the areas I wanted to work on during my time off from tournaments is my mental game. I talk with many players on the tour and not much is mentioned about this aspect of the game. When we talk about tennis it’s about what we’re working on stroke wise. I changed my serve, I’m learning a slice backhand, I want to improve my volleys. Comments like these are more common than talking about mental stuff. It would be great to get a group going, maybe a website, where players can share their own personal experiences and insights on what has helped them improve, encourage, motivate, overcome, surpass, difficult moments in their career, on the tour, in matches, etc.

It may be a shock to some of you but people close to me know me as a negative Nancy. I lean towards a negative outlook rather than a positive one. I sure wish I could say I look at the glass half full all the time but sadly it doesn’t always happen. Even with this “attribute” of mine, I think I can proudly and confidently state I’m very motivated and determined (sometimes taking it as far as being stubborn). It’s almost like a balancing act with these two. One wants to bring me down and the other lifts me up. My beautiful and wonderful friend Hannah tells me all the time to stop being Negative Nancy and start being Confident Connie! J

Nancy and Connie fight between each other all the time. Nancy wants to look at things negatively. She thinks it’s safer. You won’t get hurt and you’ll be prepared because you’ll know what you’re up against. You’ll know what to improve and overcome. Connie swoops in and wants to prove that thinking wrong. Connie wants to prove others wrong as well and show them that I can do it and make it.

I hope I don’t sound like a schizophrenic maniac here.  I thought I was being creative.

Nancy is a big, monstrous wall I put up in front of me that is unnecessary. I keep building imaginative boulders just to feel like I’m worth anything and I’ve accomplished something. This is not ideal. To really move forward and accomplish something requires mounds of grace and heaps of confidence. Two things I give myself only when I’m dying on the side of the road with a severed arm and a puncture wound on my leg.

With all this being said, I hope the time spent here at home getting ready for the upcoming season will have something to show for. I believe I can improve my ranking and become a top competitor in tennis.

Because it’s 1-11-11 let’s make a wish and proclaim I CAN DO IT!

Have you thought about your funeral?

Not to be gruesome, but the title does relate to things I've been thinking about and reading about. I'm reading a great book that asks the reader to think about what would be said at your own funeral. The main question is "What do you want to be most remembered for?"

"I would rather be ashes then dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
                  Quote by Jack London

The part that most stood out to me was "the function of man is to live, not to exist."

There are days when I feel this way. I merely exist. I shut the world out. I don't want to be bothered. I'm immersed within my self, my thoughts, my worries, fears, and doubts. I merely exist within this world.

I believe God calls us, everyone of us, to a higher calling than just existing. We are living for Him and for His glory. We don't live for our own delights and desires. We are put on this earth for a reason and we were formed and are perfectly made for a reason.

What do I want to be remembered for?

I would hope people would say that I didn't complain.
I worked as hard as I could.
I tried my best at all things.
I want to be remembered as putting other before myself.
To be remembered as helping others reach their potential.
To make people feel loved and appreciated, encouraged and worthy.

One a side note:
One of my dream goals is to collect all of the worn out tennis shoes players use and send them to people in need. It could be to different countries or different cities within the United States. I believe when players wear out their shoes they are still useful to someone else in need. I've always thought these shoes may not be worth anything for a top athlete, but for those who aren't fortunate enough to have shoes would love to have a pair to cover their feet.


I'm not sure what every player does but I've seen some directly throw shoes away in the trash. I normally give my to goodwill. Right now, I have a container full of shoes waiting to be donated.

I haven't put a lot of effort into it yet. I'm hoping I can talk to other players and start getting the word out while I'm on tour. If it progresses, I want to eventually talk to stores. I've always wondered what they do with their left over shoes that don't sell. Same with clothing stores. Once the winter season is over, what do they do with the jackets, sweaters, and long sleeve shirts? Do they keep them to sell next year? Do they give them away?

I'm hoping to find out these answers soon.

New additions...

I hope I'm allowed to say I'm working hard. These past several weeks have been intense training. I'm been putting in lots of time in the weight room, lots of time running sprints, and now I'm adding more and more time on the court since the rain has stopped (for the most part).

But I suppose there is always room for improvement.
I sometimes think I can never try hard enough.
I'm hoping my hard work will stay with me as I begin competing in February.

Christmas rolled around not to long ago. I was able to make a new addition to my tennis gear. I got a new tennis bag! My parents bought me a bag for Christmas because my zipper broke on my previous one. From all the traveling I do, my bag gets a beating. My zippers were getting worn down, ripped a part, and torn away from the stitching. I was hoping to keep the bag as long as possible but unfortunately I came to a point where I couldn't even zip it up. At this point I began carrying it like a small child under my arm so all my stuff wouldn't fall out.

The new bag ended up being to small for my liking so I returned it and ended up buying another one online. There are a few perks about being a world ranked tennis player. I am able to receive a discount from tenniswarehouse.com because of my WTA ranking. It's an amazing website. This is where I do most of my shopping for shoes, grips, bags, balls, etc. Since my parents didn't know about the discount I get, they bought the bag at a near by tennis store. I was able to return it and pick a bag I liked online and have it shipped the next day. This is the one I got.

I'm not sponsored by any company so I can use any bag I want. I thought the tecnifibre bags looked sturdy to hold up for a while. And I'm a big fan of the color red.

Here's to a new year and a new bag!

An uphill gain or another cookie?

Rain, rain, rain, and more rain.

It's been non-stop raining since I've been back from Oklahoma. I got back on Friday, it's currently Monday, and it doesn't look like it will stop until Thursday. Am I in England? (That ones for you Keaton)

Because of this rain, it makes it very difficult to practice tennis because southern California doesn't have any indoor courts. So, what to do while I'm stuck indoors? My coach has always said to me it's like riding your bicycle uphill. What are the other players doing at this time? I can make a gain on my physical fitness and take advantage of this rain or sit indoors and eat cookies and wait for the rain to stop.

Motivating?

Sometimes I'd rather have the cookie :)

To keep myself busy, I've been lifting weights, running on the track in the rain (read my last post to understand how awesome inclement weather can be) and finding creative ways to run sprints indoors. I found a great spot at the gym I lift at that has a mini basketball court where I've been running on. I could have gone to my old high school and used the basketball court there but I had to deal with school being in session, basketball practice, and it even being open now that it's closer to the holidays.

I'm even more please with my second option because it's a lot less crowded than most gym's are. I prefer to workout and train where no is around. The mini court is next to several racquetball courts too. Most of the time it's only me in there.  One time a couple came in to play racquetball and instead of being annoyed I wasn't alone anymore, I got a good laugh because the guy looked like this. 

Enjoy! :)

Determination and fun

I'm in Oklahoma currently with the Andreas family. Keaton and I flew out here to visit his family in Duncan. I'm here for a week to hang out and enjoy the Oklahoma lifestyle and spend time with Keaton and his parents. Some would think I'm on vacation but they would be incorrect. I have to find time to complete my training while among all the hanging out I will be doing ;)

I believe it takes some determination to go out in the 35 degree weather with wind chill to complete my long distant run or sprints. As I went for a run one morning, I jogged along the road and I'm sure all the cars that drove by were wondering if I was crazy to run in this type of weather. The first 10 minutes felt like my ears were going to freeze off because I forgot to wear my headband. Once 10 minutes past, they might have gone numb because I didn't notice them after that. The cold air filled my lungs and my nose begins to run. The wind hits my face like icicles. I started to think I might be a little crazy for doing this.

Once I was done, I felt this sense of accomplishment and exhilaration. It's a great feeling to run through the cold and then walked into a warm house once you're done. You're immediately enveloped with warmth and it wraps around you like a big bear hug.

I thought to myself, let's go run again!

But beware...you might end up like this!

I have had some great adventures while visiting the soon to be in-laws. We went to a near by animal refuge where you can see elk, long horned cattle, and buffalo. We went later in the afternoon on a cold day so we only saw a few buffalo and a few long horned cattle. We drove up to what they call a mountain (Mt. Scott) but being from California I called it a large hill.

This wasn't the "mountain" but it wasn't much bigger. HA!

At the top!

In the museum...

There's a well-known restaurant in the refuge that's pure cooouuntry. We ordered food you don't see that often in Cali. Fried okra, long horned cattle burgers, and drinks filled up in large mason jars. After getting stuffed on burgers, we ordered dessert and did not know what we were in store for.

Here's the peach cobbler with a "scoop"? of ice cream. The scoop is about half the carton!

It sure was delicious! 

The first of many

This is a first on many levels. My first blog. My first blog entry. My first (ok, my second) visit to a location on where I will potentially have my wedding. And my first attempt at planning a wedding. It was a great visit to a wonderful drive outside of LA where surprisingly my mom and I didn't run into to much traffic. Most would think there can't be any ranches in LA. Of course it's a little outside of LA, about an hour away from Six Flags. 30 minutes off the freeway, you drive up a very windy road, pass through some beautiful trees that at this time of year are full of orange, reds, and yellows leaves. My mom knows a lot of people and the couple who owns the ranch are such wonderful people. She definitely got me the hook ups on this one because it is such a great place to have a wedding. My family and I had Christmas here a few years back, but I couldn't remember some of the details that are important to me on my big day. So, hence our trip back to the ranch.

This is looking at the main house when you first drive up and get to the ranch

Just beautiful...

I fell in love with the trees

This will be where the ceremony will be held.
Imagine chairs filling the grass, an aisle down the center, and Keaton and I standing between the two trees 

Where the honeymoon will take place. Ha!

This is the "other side" of the ranch. Such a great rustic feel

They had a bridge to connect the two sides

If you haven't already guessed, I've picked this location to have the wedding!!! I'm pretty excited about it. I wanted an outside wedding with lots of trees. This place is ideal.

I'm sure more updates on my wedding will come as things unfold and more decisions will have to be made. If you or someone you know is interested in having a wedding here let me know because I can give you more pictures to look at, directions to visit, and an estimation of what it would cost. It's okay if you copy me. I don't mind ;)

Along with my everyday life happenings, keep a look out for tennis adventures as I continue on my journey as a professional tennis player.

One more treat.

My new favorite toy 

The ukulele.
I still haven't named him/her. Any suggestions?